Good Inside

About the Author

Dr. Becky Kennedy, affectionately known as "Dr. Becky" by her followers, is a clinical psychologist, a mother of three, and a trailblazer in modern parenting. Her approach has resonated with countless parents worldwide, seeking guidance in raising emotionally healthy and resilient children. Dr. Becky’s philosophy centers around the belief that both parents and children are fundamentally "good inside," even when struggling with difficult emotions or behaviors. This perspective is a refreshing departure from traditional methods that often focus on control and correction rather than connection and understanding.

Dr. Becky’s work is deeply rooted in her extensive experience in psychology and her personal journey as a mother. She has built a significant online community where she shares practical strategies and insights, helping parents navigate the challenges of raising children in a way that fosters emotional well-being and mutual respect. Her book, "Good Inside," encapsulates her philosophy and provides parents with tools to create a positive and nurturing environment for their children, emphasizing the importance of connection, empathy, and validation.

Main Idea

The core idea of "Good Inside" is that both parents and children are inherently good, even in moments of struggle. Dr. Becky argues that traditional parenting methods often focus on controlling behavior rather than understanding the underlying emotions that drive it. This approach can lead to short-term compliance but fails to address the root causes of the behavior, resulting in recurring issues.

Instead, Dr. Becky advocates for a parenting style that prioritizes connection and understanding. By recognizing that children’s challenging behaviors are signals of unmet needs or overwhelming emotions, parents can shift their focus from punishment to support. This shift not only helps children develop emotional regulation skills but also strengthens the parent-child relationship, creating a foundation of trust and security.

Table of Contents

• Kennedy’s Parenting Principles
• Kennedy’s Essential Toolkit
• Common Parenting Challenges and Solutions

Kennedy’s Parenting Principles

At the heart of Dr. Becky’s parenting philosophy is the belief that you and your child are good people, even when faced with challenges. This principle forms the foundation of her approach, which is rooted in modern psychological theories, particularly attachment theory and the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model.

Attachment theory, developed by psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, emphasizes the importance of a strong emotional bond between parents and children. According to this theory, children who feel securely attached to their caregivers are more likely to explore the world with confidence and develop healthy emotional regulation skills. Dr. Becky draws on this theory to advocate for parenting practices that prioritize connection and emotional safety.

The IFS model, on the other hand, views individuals as being composed of multiple parts, each representing different emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Dr. Becky uses this model to help parents understand that their children’s challenging behaviors are often the result of conflicting internal states. By acknowledging and addressing these parts, parents can help their children integrate their emotions and develop a stronger sense of self.

Understanding Behavior as Communication

Dr. Becky’s approach to behavior is centered on the idea that challenging behaviors are not problems to be controlled but clues to be investigated. When parents focus on controlling behavior without understanding its root causes, they miss the opportunity to address the underlying issues that drive the behavior.

For example, if a child is throwing a tantrum, it might be tempting to focus solely on stopping the tantrum. However, Dr. Becky encourages parents to look deeper and ask what might be causing the child’s distress. Is the child tired, hungry, or feeling disconnected from their parent? By addressing these underlying needs, parents can help their children feel understood and supported, which can lead to more effective and lasting behavior change.