Lifestorming

About the Author

Alan Weiss is a renowned consultant, speaker, and author known for his firm, Summit Consulting Group, Inc., which has catered to over 500 leading organizations. He is celebrated for his ability to offer pragmatic advice and guidance on personal and professional development.

Marshall Goldsmith is an acclaimed executive coach and business educator. His mission is to help successful leaders achieve positive, lasting changes in behavior. Goldsmith is well-known for his work in leadership development and has coached numerous executives to enhance their effectiveness.

Main Idea

Lifestorming is a practical guide aimed at helping individuals redesign their lives to align more closely with their goals. The book discusses the importance of setting personal aspirations, understanding and evolving one's character, and the significance of relationships in shaping one's journey. It emphasizes the power of internal control and the need to continuously adapt and grow.

Table of Contents

1. Setting Our Own Aspirations
2. An Evolutionary Journey
3. Life’s Detours
4. The Importance of New Friends
5. Breaking Out of the “Good Enough” Trap
6. The Best Relationships Grow with Us
7. Letting Go to Reach Out
8. Why We Halt the Journey
9. Behavioral Metamorphosis
10. Beliefs Manifest in Behavior
11. The Importance and Evolution of Character
12. Critical Abandonment
13. Adjustments and Accommodations
14. Staying the Course
15. The New You
16. Maintaining High Self-Worth
17. Gaining and Sustaining Leverage
18. Sustaining the Journey
19. Evolution Through Exploration
20. Legacy

Analyzing and Explaining Each Idea

Setting Our Own Aspirations

We often perceive ourselves as independent and authentic, the authors of our own destinies. However, this self-conception is frequently influenced by external forces, including family, peers, and societal expectations. Lifestorming encourages us to critically examine these influences and strive to set aspirations that truly reflect our personal desires and values.

"We often unconsciously become programmed to believe we are someone and then proceed to live our lives trying to fill that role." - Weiss and Goldsmith

It's common for individuals to follow predetermined paths set by family or society, often without questioning their true desires. For instance, many people might pursue careers in medicine or law because their parents did, or because these professions are socially esteemed, not because they have a genuine interest in them. This highlights the importance of introspection and ensuring that our aspirations are truly our own.

• Choosing a career path based on parental expectations rather than personal passion.
• Engaging in activities that are socially praised but personally unfulfilling.
• Adopting life goals that align more with societal norms than with personal happiness.

An Evolutionary Journey

The concept of an evolutionary journey is central to Lifestorming. This journey does not have a fixed destination but is characterized by continuous growth and adaptation. Our goals and aspirations evolve as we gain new experiences and perspectives.

Control plays a significant role in this journey. Internal control refers to the belief that we have the power to influence our own lives, while external control refers to the belief that others or random events hold that power. The book emphasizes the importance of cultivating internal control to steer our journey effectively.

Weiss and Goldsmith discuss the balance between internal and external control. They suggest that many people wait for external events to shape their lives rather than taking proactive steps. Entrepreneurs often exemplify internal control by creating their paths and achieving their aspirations through deliberate action.

"Your 'there' can, and often should, be constantly moving as your experiences, successes, and perspective change." - Weiss and Goldsmith

Life’s Detours

Life is replete with unexpected twists and turns that can either be opportunities or harmful detours. Families, for instance, exert strong influences on our development, both positively and negatively. Social media also presents unprecedented opportunities and challenges, making it crucial to discern what truly aligns with our personal goals.

"Given the pervasiveness of our media culture, how do you make a smart decision about what dreams and aspirations are really best for you?" - Weiss and Goldsmith

Detours can come from well-meaning family members who push us in directions that do not align with our passions. Media, especially social media, can distract us with superficial goals and comparisons that are not genuinely fulfilling. Recognizing these detours and staying focused on our authentic path is essential for personal growth.

The Importance of New Friends

Friendships significantly impact our behaviors and aspirations. Surrounding ourselves with like-minded individuals can reinforce positive habits, while negative influences can hinder our growth. Lifestorming advocates for actively seeking out new relationships that challenge and support our evolution.