The Connector’s Advantage

About the Author

Michelle Tillis Lederman, CSP, PCC, has been recognized as one of Forbes' Top 25 Networking Experts. She is the author of several books, including the internationally renowned The 11 Laws of Likability. As the founder and CEO of Executive Essentials, Lederman provides customized communications and leadership training and coaching programs. Her impressive background as a former finance executive and NYU professor has also contributed to her extensive media presence, where she has appeared on NBC, CBS, Fox, NPR, CNBC, and in publications like the Wall Street Journal and New York Times.

Main Idea

In The Connector’s Advantage, Michelle Tillis Lederman explores the concept of becoming a Connector—someone who cultivates meaningful and impactful relationships. She outlines seven essential mindsets that differentiate Connectors from other networkers. Through a combination of stories, feedback, and real-life applications, Lederman provides a roadmap for growing your connections and leveraging them for both personal and professional success. The book emphasizes authenticity, generosity, and the importance of building real relationships based on trust and mutual respect.

Table of Contents

1. Introduction
2. Why Connections Matter
3. Mindset #1: Open and Accepting
4. Mindset #2: Have a Clear Vision
5. Mindset #3: Believe in Abundance
6. Mindset #4: Trust
7. Mindset #5: Social and Curious
8. Mindset #6: Conscientious
9. Mindset #7: Have a Generous Spirit
10. Diversity is Key
11. What Now?

Why Connections Matter

Connections are the cornerstone of success in both personal and professional realms. According to Lederman, "Connection is the key to success in both your professional and personal lives." Relationships help you overcome obstacles, advance in your career, and find overall contentment. Whether it's landing a dream job, starting a business, or simply having a supportive network, connections are invaluable.

“Without connections, it is impossible to succeed, even if you are highly motivated, intelligent, and qualified.” — Michelle Tillis Lederman

Connections extend beyond professional benefits. They also play a crucial role in personal well-being. A strong support network can provide emotional stability, advice, and encouragement during tough times. This holistic view of connections underscores their importance in every aspect of life.

Mindset #1: Open and Accepting

Being open and accepting is fundamental for forming real relationships. Lederman emphasizes that judgmental and close-minded attitudes hinder connection-making. Authenticity is key—people are drawn to genuine individuals who are open about their goals and desires.

“People who are open and accepting almost always have stronger connections.” — Michelle Tillis Lederman

Connectors prioritize openness and acceptance, which enables them to connect with a diverse range of people. This diversity enriches their network, providing varied perspectives and support.

Mindset #2: Have a Clear Vision

Having a clear vision is essential for achieving your goals. Lederman highlights the importance of knowing what you want and creating actionable steps to get there. This clarity allows you to communicate your goals effectively to your connections, who can then assist you in achieving them.

“Just as you won’t get where you want to go without directions or an address, you won’t live the life you want without a clear vision of it.” — Michelle Tillis Lederman

Setting SMARTER goals—Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, Timed, Engaging, and Revisited—helps in creating a clear roadmap for success. Regularly communicating these goals with your network ensures alignment and support.

Mindset #3: Believe in Abundance

Connectors believe in abundance, seeing opportunities everywhere. This mindset contrasts with the scarcity mentality, which limits potential. By believing in abundance, you open yourself to numerous opportunities and relationships.

“To believe in abundance is to believe in opportunities.” — Michelle Tillis Lederman

Abundance mentality also involves supporting others in their journeys. Instead of comparing yourself to others, trust your own path and celebrate others' successes. This fosters a collaborative and thriving network.

Mindset #4: Trust

Trust is the foundation of all relationships. Without it, relationships can become defensive and toxic. Lederman emphasizes authenticity, vulnerability, transparency, and consistency as key components of building and maintaining trust.

“Trust is what allows relationships to flourish, grow, and be useful when times are tough.” — Michelle Tillis Lederman

Building trust starts with trusting yourself. Confidence in your own decisions and abilities is crucial for extending trust to others. This self-trust is the bedrock upon which all other relationships are built.

Mindset #5: Social and Curious

Humans are inherently social beings. Even introverts need social interaction to thrive. Connectors understand the importance of socializing in various forms, whether in group settings, one-on-one, or virtually.