The Influence Book

About the Author

Nicole Soames is a highly qualified coach and emotional intelligence practitioner. She gained extensive commercial experience during 12 years of managing large sales teams at Unilever and United Biscuits, followed by 15 years developing and delivering training programs around the globe. In 2009, Nicole founded Diadem, a leading commercial skills training and coaching company. With 85 clients in 12 countries, Diadem has helped thousands of people become commercial athletes in influencing and selling, negotiation, account management, marketing, presenting, strategy, coaching, leadership, and management. Nicole is also the best-selling author of The Negotiation Book, part of the Concise Advise Series from LID Publishing.

Main Idea

The Influence Book: Practical Steps to Becoming a Strong Influencer by Nicole Soames is a comprehensive guide to developing your influencing skills. The book emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence in building trust and rapport, helping you to inspire others, create deeper relationships, improve performance, and build a powerful personal brand. Soames provides practical techniques and ideas to unlock your inner confidence, prepare for any influencing situation, and deliver compelling storytelling to win hearts and minds.

Table of Contents

1. Why Influencing Matters
2. Develop a Confident Mindset
3. Be Authentically You
4. Set Yourself Up for Success
5. Recognize Communication Styles
6. The Importance of Relationships
7. Influence Through Storytelling
8. Deliver an Influential Story
9. Control the Conversation
10. Influencing via Phone and Email
11. Keep Fit for Influencing
12. Network for Success

Why Influencing Matters

Influencing is a crucial skill in all aspects of life. Whether you are pitching a business idea or convincing your children to do their homework, influencing others effectively is essential. Nicole Soames argues that influencing is a life skill that can be developed and strengthened. By leveraging emotional intelligence, you can communicate more effectively and make it easier for others to say yes. Developing your emotional intelligence and business skills can significantly enhance your performance and relationships.

For example, imagine a teacher who is an expert in their subject but fails to inspire their students, or a developer who creates brilliant designs but cannot persuade their client to implement them. Without the ability to influence, their expertise goes unrecognized and underutilized. Soames emphasizes that understanding the immense value influencing can bring to your life and seeing it as a skill that can be developed and strengthened is essential.

"Influencing is the ability to leverage your emotional intelligence to communicate effectively so that you make it easy for the other person to say yes." - Nicole Soames

Develop a Confident Mindset

Self-knowledge is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. To develop a confident mindset, you need to give yourself an honest appraisal. Identify your key strengths and weaknesses, and ask others to help you identify blind spots. Understanding your underlying motivations and emotional needs will help you be more prepared and confident in any influencing situation.

Stephen Covey's 3 Circles of Influence can help you focus your attention on the things within your control. The inner "control" circle represents things that are totally in our control, such as where we live and what we do. The middle circle, our area of influence, includes things that we can do something about, such as the quality of our work, the relationships we form, and results we can achieve. Focus your attention on the things within your influence circle.

Identify areas you’d like to influence and set three goals for the year ahead, such as improving your relationship with a customer, mentoring a new employee, or becoming a thought leader in your field. Challenge yourself and adopt a positive mindset, as it will take time and perseverance to achieve your goals.