The Lost Art of Connecting

About the Author

Susan McPherson is a serial connector, angel investor, and corporate responsibility expert. She is the founder and CEO of McPherson Strategies, a communications consultancy focused on the intersection of brands and social impact, providing storytelling, partnership creation, and visibility to corporations, NGOs, and social enterprises. With over 25 years of experience in marketing, public relations, and sustainability communications, she speaks regularly at industry events and has contributed to numerous major publications.

McPherson's journey has been marked by a commitment to fostering authentic and meaningful relationships, both in her personal life and professional career. Her book, The Lost Art of Connecting, encapsulates her philosophy and provides a structured approach to building and nurturing connections that go beyond the superficial.

Main Idea

In The Lost Art of Connecting, McPherson introduces a refreshing approach to networking that prioritizes genuine human connections over transactional interactions. At its core, the book presents the Gather, Ask, Do method—a three-step process designed to help individuals cultivate relationships that are deep, meaningful, and mutually beneficial.

Networking, often perceived as a necessary evil, has become increasingly dehumanizing in the age of social media. McPherson argues for a return to basics, where connections are formed on a human level, grounded in mutual support and shared values. The Gather, Ask, Do method encourages readers to connect with themselves first, understand their goals, and then reach out to others with the intention of helping and adding value.

Table of Contents

1. Introduction
2. Part I: Gather
3. Part II: Ask
4. Part III: Do
5. Conclusion

Introduction

McPherson sets the stage by contrasting traditional networking with her proposed method. She uses the metaphor of a constellation to illustrate the idea of creating a personal network that aligns with one's values and goals. She emphasizes the importance of intentionality in forming connections and introduces the central question of her methodology: "How can I help?"

"Connecting comes down to one simple question: ‘How can I help?’" — Susan McPherson

Part I: Gather

The first part of the book focuses on gathering the "stars" of one's constellation. This involves connecting with oneself to clarify goals and values, and then reaching out to existing contacts as the foundation of a network.

Help, I Don’t Know Anyone!

Many people experience anxiety in networking situations, often feeling isolated or disconnected. McPherson advises starting with one's current network, emphasizing that existing connections are invaluable assets. She highlights the importance of understanding one's own preferences in social interactions to avoid burnout.

• Identify whether you are an extrovert or introvert.
• Leverage your existing network before seeking new contacts.
• Clarify your personal and professional goals.

"Your existing network is your biggest asset—use it." — Susan McPherson

Invite to Get Invited

McPherson suggests taking initiative by hosting gatherings instead of waiting for invitations. This proactive approach shifts the mindset from seeking to giving, fostering a sense of control and purpose. She introduces the concept of JOMO (Joy of Missing Out) as a counter to FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), encouraging readers to find joy in meaningful connections rather than superficial engagements.