The Person You Mean to Be

About the Author

Dr. Dolly Chugh is an award-winning professor at the NYU Stern School of Business, where she studies the psychology of good people. She is renowned for her work on unconscious bias and the “psychology of good people.” Her research spans various disciplines, including psychology, sociology, economics, and political science. Dr. Chugh’s TED Talk was one of the top 25 of 2018, and she regularly engages with a broader audience through her popular monthly newsletter, Dear Good People. She is dedicated to helping individuals and organizations move from being well-intentioned believers to impactful builders in the fight for equality and inclusion.

Main Idea

The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias by Dolly Chugh is a comprehensive guide for individuals who are committed to equality, diversity, and inclusion but may be unsure how to stand up for these values in a complex world. Chugh emphasizes the importance of understanding and managing unconscious biases, adopting a growth mindset, recognizing the effects of privilege, and actively working towards inclusive practices. The book provides practical tools and insights for individuals at any stage of their journey towards becoming allies and advocates for social justice.

Table of Contents

1. Introduction: Good-ish People
2. Claiming an Identity
3. The Psychology of Good People
4. Builders Activate a Growth Mindset
5. Builders See and Use Their Ordinary Privilege
6. Builders Opt for Willful Awareness
7. Builders Engage
8. Show Meaningful Support

Introduction: Good-ish People

Chugh begins by addressing the paradox of modern society: while many people believe in equality and inclusion, these beliefs do not always translate into actions. She highlights that most people see themselves as "good," but this self-perception can sometimes prevent them from recognizing their own biases and shortcomings. The concept of being "good-ish" acknowledges that while we strive to be good, we are often imperfect and must continually work on ourselves.

"The Person You Mean to Be is the smart, 'semi-bold' person’s guide to fighting for what you believe in." – Dolly Chugh

This book is not just for activists or those heavily involved in social justice. It's for everyone who believes in these values but may struggle to put them into practice consistently. Chugh argues that being the person we mean to be starts with looking inward, understanding our limitations, and making conscious efforts to improve.

Claiming an Identity

In this chapter, Chugh explores the concept of identity and how it shapes our behavior and interactions. She introduces the idea of "identity claiming," where individuals express how they see themselves and how they want to be perceived by others. This process is intertwined with "identity granting," where we seek validation from others regarding our self-claimed identities.

When our identities are challenged, we experience self-threat, which can lead to defensive behaviors. Chugh emphasizes that understanding and managing self-threat is crucial for personal growth and effective allyship. By recognizing moments of self-threat, we can better navigate our reactions and stay committed to our values even when it is uncomfortable.