Work With Me

About the Author

Barbara Annis is a world-renowned expert on Gender Intelligence® and inclusive leadership, advocating the value and practice of Gender Intelligence in Fortune 500 companies, governments, and numerous organizations across the globe. Her book Same Words, Different Language is considered a seminal contribution to the new conversation between men and women at work. She serves as chair emeritus of the Women's Leadership Board at the Harvard Kennedy School.

John Gray, Ph.D., is a leading relationship expert and bestselling author. His book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is ranked by USA Today as one of the top 10 most influential books over the last 25 years. Founder of Mars Venus coaching, he has trained over 500 coaches in 27 countries to bridge the gender gap in business through gender-smart leadership, sales, and team-building training programs.

Main Idea

Work With Me: The 8 Blind Spots Between Men and Women in Business by Barbara Annis and John Gray addresses the persistent blind spots that cause misunderstandings and miscommunication between men and women in the workplace. The book is a collaboration of insights from science, stories, and over 100,000 interviews with male and female executives. It reveals eight gender blind spots and offers solutions to bridge the gap, fostering greater success and satisfaction in professional and personal lives.

Table of Contents

1. Do Women Want Men to Change?
2. Do Men Appreciate Women?
3. Are Women Being Excluded?
4. Do Men Have to Walk on Eggshells with Women?
5. Do Women Ask Too Many Questions?
6. Do Men Listen?
7. Are Women Too Emotional?
8. Are Men Insensitive?

Do Women Want Men to Change?

Women often feel undervalued in the workplace, sensing that they have to work harder than men to prove themselves. This feeling is not baseless; statistics show that:

• 58% of men believe women have an equal chance of getting ahead, while only 24% of women agree.
• 83% of men believe both genders experience the same level of job satisfaction, but only 62% of women feel satisfied with their jobs.

Men generally are comfortable with the existing corporate culture and are often unaware of how their behavior affects women. Women's requests for change are not demands for men to change who they are, but rather for them to remove obstacles that hinder women's success. Here are a few examples of misunderstandings:

• What men say: "Those issues aren't directly related. We need to focus on what's critical and doable now."
• What women say: "Those issues seem relevant and may impact our decision. All things should be considered."
• What men say: "There's risk involved, but beating competition to the marketplace is worth it."
• What women say: "To minimize the risk, let's think through the options one more time. We may not be first to market, but we'll have a solid product."

These examples highlight the different approaches men and women take towards problem-solving and decision-making. Understanding and valuing these differences can help in creating a more inclusive workplace.

Do Men Appreciate Women?

Men and women seek appreciation differently. While men are motivated by being recognized for their results, women seek acknowledgment for their efforts and the journey taken to achieve those results. Here are some statistics:

• 79% of men feel appreciated at work, compared to 48% of women.
• 82% of women want to be recognized for their effort in achieving results.
• 89% of men want to be recognized for their results.

This difference in appreciation highlights the need for gender intelligence. Men often prefer autonomy and recognition for their achievements, while women value collaboration and acknowledgment for their efforts. Understanding these preferences can help foster a more supportive work environment for both genders.

Are Women Being Excluded?

Exclusion is a significant issue for women in the workplace. Many women feel excluded from informal networks and social events that are crucial for career advancement. The statistics tell a compelling story: